me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
