Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
