don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
