I'm drive I can fine osifer
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?