i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY