Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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