all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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