And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize