yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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