listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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