This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She said her name was "party"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
