Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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