UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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