Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
