Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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