She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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