I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
