If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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