he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
