did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I need moral support for this bender
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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