then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
