yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?