i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
babies were throwing up all over the place
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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