i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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