so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
