i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
