apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's great music for shaving your balls
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
