I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize