Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
