paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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