I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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