I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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