she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
