so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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