You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Congratulations! We have a period
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize