Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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