five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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