im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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