Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch