So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
