Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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(513): View more from Ohio

u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.

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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(703): View more from Virginia

You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

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(+61): View more from Australia

PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

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