My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.