Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

(505): View more from New Mexico

The Rock won.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive. (505): The Rock won. http://tfl.nu/hvm5

Replies (32) Good night (734) Bad night (1010)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v

Replies (20) Good night (821) Bad night (5364)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw

Replies (64) Good night (4944) Bad night (892)
Favorite
(562): View more from California

...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are http://tfl.nu/3209

Replies (11) Good night (4662) Bad night (625)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza http://tfl.nu/fivz

Replies (53) Good night (26504) Bad night (1988)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor. http://tfl.nu/xv4s

Replies (12) Good night (1124) Bad night (4970)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus. http://tfl.nu/dneq

Replies (8) Good night (1072) Bad night (2996)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): French fry pizza (502): Are you brilliant or just really high? (330): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/8jk8

Replies (8) Good night (3361) Bad night (733)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment. http://tfl.nu/iaxy

Replies (9) Good night (1657) Bad night (677)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro. http://tfl.nu/i908

Replies (1) Good night (2059) Bad night (787)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

If I was 5 years younger and single...

(413): View more from Massachusetts

She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): If I was 5 years younger and single... (413): She STILL wouldn't fuck you. http://tfl.nu/p2kv

Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (718)
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night http://tfl.nu/qcv1

Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (478)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck http://tfl.nu/dtrp

Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (223)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face http://tfl.nu/ptuh

Replies (7) Good night (329) Bad night (787)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke http://tfl.nu/9l8b

Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (601)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: