If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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