I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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