Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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