if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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