Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  my soul wont recognize me after tonight

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  (857): my soul wont recognize me after tonight http://tfl.nu/7s35
  Replies (3) Good night (1951) Bad night (740)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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  (515): Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms (712): Oh God (515): I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship http://tfl.nu/mj00
  Replies (31) Good night (1306) Bad night (2187)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.

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  (610): Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/bu0x
  Replies (9) Good night (3740) Bad night (1338)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

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  (702): His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding. http://tfl.nu/4b44
  Replies (16) Good night (8506) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across

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  (918): Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across http://tfl.nu/uhsj
  Replies (11) Good night (3727) Bad night (1124)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
  Replies (4) Good night (1076) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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  (801): I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine. http://tfl.nu/flen
  Replies (6) Good night (3787) Bad night (984)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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  (+44): listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all. http://tfl.nu/7xa1
  Replies (8) Good night (1280) Bad night (2800)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3415) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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  (574): its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you? http://tfl.nu/7h5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (1977)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2832) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

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  (916): Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On. http://tfl.nu/kp7b
  Replies (5) Good night (3758) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.

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  (610): why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from? (484): question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA. http://tfl.nu/jqh5
  Replies (2) Good night (1431) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.

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  (832): He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/v57f
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.

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  (416): We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love. http://tfl.nu/ly59
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (254)

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