I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??