I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is wine microwaveable?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize