I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize