Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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