dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Congratulations! We have a period
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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