he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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