Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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