We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
