In the future we'll all be gay
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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