Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
