If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
