Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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