If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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