Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
