Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
