why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
